Feminist 8 Ball and the Hard Questions

By Amy Cook

Dear Feminist 8 Ball,

Can you give the following questions the consideration they deserve?


Mike Buchanan*, UK

Dear Mike,

Thanks for writing! I received your list of questions and have provided the best answers available to me. Being an 8 Ball, the answers are, of course, succinct. Enjoy!


1. Are you a misogynist if you only hate feminists?

It is certain.

2. What is feminism in the modern era?

Outlook good.

3. How do radical feminists view the world?

As I see it, yes.

4. Are feminists less intelligent than normal women?

My reply is no.

5. Are feminists less attractive than normal women?

Why is this important to you?

6. Do feminists suffer from PPS (Permanent Premenstrual Syndrome)?

Very doubtful.

7. Why do feminists deny the different natures of men and women?


8. Why must taxpayers stop financing Women's Studies and Gender Studies courses?

You may rely on it.

9. What are the big fat feminist fantasies, lies, delusions and myths?

Very doubtful.

10. Are feminists delusional?

My sources say no.

10.a. Is the pope a Catholic?

Most likely.

10.b. Do bears crap in woods?

Concentrate and ask again.

11. How are feminists killing men and women?

Are you okay? Take time for yourself.

12. Are some feminists (e.g. Tracey Emin) a pain in the arts?

It is decidedly so.

About the Author:

Feminist 8 Ball knows that the world is at times disappointing and strange and may encourage supplicants to practice self care. Feminist 8 Ball also knows that we are all products of our experience and may encourage supplicants to challenge their beliefs and biases. Feminist 8 Ball also has a sense of humor which leans strongly towards word play and poop jokes.

*Letter fabricated from whole cloth, questions attributed to LW are excerpted from LW’s Very Important Self Published EBook.